Monday, January 5, 2015


"Surprise." That's a word that usually brings a smile to peoples faces.  A majority of the time a surprise means good news.  You're having a party, you get a promotion, you get pregnant.

Wait, what was that last one?  Pregnant?  No. That couldn't be.  Just 10 short months after Baby Girl Pal was born, I was again late.  And again, I was staring at a little stick with the word "Pregnant" staring back at me.

How did this happen?  It can't be right.  I called Mr. Pal and told him the test was positive.  Then I called my doctor.  I had peed on so many sticks in my infertility journey that I knew not all positives were real.  Surely this was a mistake.

I admit that I wasn't overjoyed.  I wasn't all that happy.  I cried because I was scared.  I was sad.  I was so freaking confused!  The timing was all wrong.  My baby girl wasn't even a year yet.  I was getting old(er).  Our finances were in ruins.  We can't get pregnant on our own. We know this. We tried for three years.

But, against all odds, I am carrying yet another little fighter.  Somehow my body decided, I needed to have another baby.  Who am I to fight my body?  I don't think I felt joy for having baby 2 until I saw that little heartbeat.  With that little flicker my heart was seized.  This baby was our miracle.  This baby was the second one I never thought I'd have.

I joke now that baby 2 is our "late baby."  We wanted this little one three years ago while we were driving to have a D&C.  Why did you show up now? I don't think I'll ever know the answer.  Well, maybe I will after baby 2 arrives and we see a personality.

For now, I think baby 2 is here to let us know that hope is still alive.  Even in our darkest moments, there can still be a reason to smile.  Baby Girl Pal makes us laugh all the time with her silly faces and baby babbling.  Baby 2 makes us smile because we realize there was hope all along.

This far along we have learned that Baby 2 is actually going to be Baby Boy Pal.  Yes, we will have our girl and our boy.  And yes, we are going to be officially done after he is born. No more surprises for us.  At least in the baby department.

I know this time around that it won't be easy.  There are major changes going on in our lives.  There is a major shift as far as residence is concerned.  But, I am trying (key word is trying) to stay positive. After all, I never thought Baby Girl Pal would be here as I was giving up IVF procedures.  An never in a million years did I think that we would get pregnant on our own and be expecting Baby Boy Pal.  His arrival is set for January 2015.  So we will have a Summer baby and a Winter baby.  And our family will be complete.  Unless you ask Mr. Pal. He thinks it won't be complete until we get a dog!

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